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The Possibility Podcast With Mel Schwartz Episode 010: The Inner Path of Leadership

In this episode Mel shares the inner path to cultivating your leadership abilities.

He proposes that leaders aren’t necessarily born as leaders. We can learn how to develop both inner and outer leadership skills.

Mel shares many insights derived from both his  life and his executive coaching practice.

He introduces his three pillars of leadership:
  • emotional intelligence
  • authenticity
  • the embrace of uncertainty

Mel has a stimulating conversation with Cathryn Leff, president-elect of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, as to how she acquired her leadership acumen.

Listen to this insightful conversation about how you can develop your own leadership skills, and be sure to check out the companion article by Mel.

For even more, read Mel’s book The Possibility Principle.

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

Subscribe To the Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz

Never miss an episode! Subscribe for free in iTunes / Apple Podcasts, Spotify, RadioPublic, or Spreaker. Or, search for the show in your favorite podcast app… or add the show manually by copying and pasting this link into the podcast app of your choice.

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The Possibility Podcast With Mel Schwartz Episode 009: The Power of Authentic Self-Esteem

The concept of self worth remains tragically misunderstood in our culture.

Most people seek to bolster their sense of self by being well thought of, or admired by others, or by avoiding disapproval. As well, most individuals think that achievement and success in and of itself will create genuine self-esteem.

These attempts to feel good about ourselves resembles what Mel calls “other esteem.” They are derived externally and often cause people to betray their own authenticity by seeking approval from others.

In this episode, Mel explains the true and powerful nature of authentic self-esteem.He interviews a current therapy client, a recent college graduate, who shares his challenges with measuring of himself and how he has broken free of this burden.

Low self-esteem is at the source of most of our emotional and psychological challenges. Developing genuine self-worth is the foundation for well-being and thriving in your life and your relationships.

This episode lays the groundwork to help you re-envision your relationship with your self.

Want to read more about it? Check out Mel’s article on the subject, and be sure to pick up Mel’s book The Possibility Principle.

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

Subscribe To the Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz

Never miss an episode! Subscribe for free in iTunes / Apple Podcasts, Spotify, RadioPublic, or Spreaker. Or, search for the show in your favorite podcast app… or add the show manually by copying and pasting this link into the podcast app of your choice.

 

This episode produced and edited by Matthew Wayne Selznick

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Self Esteem or Other Esteem?

woman-low-self-esteemIn my previous article, Self-Esteem: A Missed Diagnosis, I proposed that a devaluation of one’s self lies at the heart of most psychological and emotional disorders. Let’s now explore more deeply what the term self-esteem denotes and come to appreciate what we mean by it as well as what gets in our way of attaining it.

I have come to believe that the way the term self-esteem is used is actually a misnomer. The first half of the expression, self, would seem to indicate that esteem, the second half of the expression, is derived from one’s self. Yet if we look closer, we find that most people seek a sense of worthiness from that which lies outside of them. For a student, it might come from good grades; for a businessperson or worker, it’s derived from a promotion or a raise; and for most individuals, praise or acknowledgement provide a temporary increase in esteem. Our society generates billions of dollars in revenues from inducing people to seek the quick fix of vanity as a means toward feeling better. Yet none of these actually contribute one iota to self-esteem. Ironically, they may even get in the way.

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Would You Like to Be the Partner I Want You to Be?

In my role as a relationship therapist, I’ve begun prompting couples to ask their partners, “Would you like to be the person that I’m asking you to change into? Would you like to be the partner that I want you to be?”

This type of inquiry quiets the tired back and forth, right and wrong ping ponging that gets us nowhere. It’s not uncommon to ask your partner to make changes in their beliefs, attitudes, or behavior to accommodate your wishes. Very often, though, this is met by an entrenched resistance from the person being asked to change. You should ask yourself if you’re resisting simply for the sake of resisting, or would the requested change be consistent with your own growth and personal evolution?

If what is being requested seems authentic and resonant with your growth, and you are nevertheless resisting, then you might want to pay attention to why you’re digging your heels in. If you’re caught up in the power struggle and keeping a scorecard of offenses, the path to amicability remains obstructed; the larger picture is surely being missed.

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