Mel Schwartz, LCSW

#022: Why You Shouldn’t Put Your Best Foot Forward

In dating and early stage romantic relationships, there’s a belief that we should put our best foot forward.

If we really look at this tendency, it makes little sense and can be ruinous. Hiding what the other might find displeasing in order to secure the relationship is self sabotaging on two levels:

  1. Over time both people may claim, “You’re not who I thought you were.” That would be predictable. This ultimately leads to conflict if not failure.
  2. On another level, we disinvest in our authentic self-worth when we hide what we feel insecure about, thereby doing harm to ourselves and, ultimately, to the relationship.

Before you make a commitment in a relationship, you both owe it to yourselves to invest in genuine emotional intimacy to best assure your relationship success.

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