The Possibility Podcast With Mel Schwartz Episode 013: You Can’t Love Another If You Don’t Love Yourself

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In this episode Mel delves into the nature of healthy self-love. This love for self is not self-interested or narcissistic, but a bountiful relationship with your own self.

Not to be confused with being unaccountable, this type of relationship is buoyant and brimming with resilience.

When you come into a healthy relationship with self you’re ready to be authentically loving of others. When you learn to quiet your critical inner voice, you become able to be kind, patient and loving for others.

Mel interviews Chris Wise, who advances the concept of LQ — love quotient — as an indicator of a well-lived life. Mel proposes that the authentic and lasting component of happiness, one that can’t be stripped away from you, is the ability to love yourself and be loving to others. This is the eternal source of meaning and purpose in our lives.

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The Possibility Podcast With Mel Schwartz Episode 012: Why We Struggle With Change

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How we view personal change and what we believe about the change process will inform the story of our life. In this episode of The Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz, we learn that our beliefs about change are misinformed and actually get in the way of our growth. Mel explains that the belief “it’s hard to change” often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It appears that reality is in a perpetual state of flow, a virtual reality-making process. We, too, can ride the waves of change once we learn to embrace uncertainty and shift our operating beliefs.

In this solo episode, Mel shares techniques for self-actualization he’s developed through his therapy practice and illuminated in his book The Possibility Principle, and talks about the remarkable change process that several of his clients have undergone and how they embarked on and accomplished their breakthroughs.

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Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

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The Possibility Podcast With Mel Schwartz Episode 011: Rethinking Our Relationships (Mel Interviewed on the What Matters Most Podcast)

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In this bonus episode Mel is interviewed by Paul Samuel Dolman, the talented host of the What Matters Most podcast. Paul explores Mel’s insights and perspectives about why we struggle in our relationships and how we can thrive in our relations.

Mel shares that our approach to relationship — and our expectations — underscore the inevitable problems. When we subordinate our passion and emotional connectivity — the essence of a lovingly, intimate coupling — into a predictable routine we destroy the fiber of the relationship. We begin to retreat from the sense of oneness from which we likely began the union.

Certainty and predictability nullify and vanquish the adventure of love. Sadly, committed relationships tend to seek routine and certainty. By embracing rather than avoiding uncertainty, we can keep the energy of the relationship percolating. As Oscar Wilde said, “The very essence of romance is uncertainty.”

In this episode’s conversation, which was inspired by this article, Mel shares with Paul a radically new suggestion for what it is we should commit to in our relationships.

For even more, read Mel’s book The Possibility Principle.

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Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

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The Possibility Podcast With Mel Schwartz Episode 010: The Inner Path of Leadership

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In this episode Mel shares the inner path to cultivating your leadership abilities.

He proposes that leaders aren’t necessarily born as leaders. We can learn how to develop both inner and outer leadership skills.

Mel shares many insights derived from both his  life and his executive coaching practice.

He introduces his three pillars of leadership:
  • emotional intelligence
  • authenticity
  • the embrace of uncertainty

Mel has a stimulating conversation with Cathryn Leff, president-elect of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, as to how she acquired her leadership acumen.

Listen to this insightful conversation about how you can develop your own leadership skills, and be sure to check out the companion article by Mel.

For even more, read Mel’s book The Possibility Principle.

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

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The Possibility Podcast With Mel Schwartz Episode 009: The Power of Authentic Self-Esteem

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The concept of self worth remains tragically misunderstood in our culture.

Most people seek to bolster their sense of self by being well thought of, or admired by others, or by avoiding disapproval. As well, most individuals think that achievement and success in and of itself will create genuine self-esteem.

These attempts to feel good about ourselves resembles what Mel calls “other esteem.” They are derived externally and often cause people to betray their own authenticity by seeking approval from others.

In this episode, Mel explains the true and powerful nature of authentic self-esteem.He interviews a current therapy client, a recent college graduate, who shares his challenges with measuring of himself and how he has broken free of this burden.

Low self-esteem is at the source of most of our emotional and psychological challenges. Developing genuine self-worth is the foundation for well-being and thriving in your life and your relationships.

This episode lays the groundwork to help you re-envision your relationship with your self.

Want to read more about it? Check out Mel’s article on the subject, and be sure to pick up Mel’s book The Possibility Principle.

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

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This episode produced and edited by Matthew Wayne Selznick

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The Possibility Podcast Episode 008: Who Am I?

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“Who am I?” is a common question that many people ponder. In this episode inspired by his popular article, Mel Schwartz explains why this may in fact be the wrong question to be asking.

He proposes that this question searches for a fixed, unchanging identity as opposed to a worldview which embraces change and uncertainty. He suggests that it would be advantageous to reflect, instead, on “How might I wish to experience my life?”

The former question seeks a fixed answer. The latter shifts us into the process of becoming.

Mel contrasts these opposing worldviews and explains how they inform our sense of self and our ability to navigate change in conversation with author and memoirist Paul Samuel Dolman, host of the What Matters Most podcast. Together, they engage in some provocative out-of-the-box thinking, which teases us to come out of our familiar zone.

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

Subscribe To the Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz

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This episode produced and edited by Matthew Wayne Selznick

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The Possibility Podcast Episode 007: Breaking Free From Imprisoning Thoughts

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In this episode, Mel teaches us how our old beliefs and thoughts trap us in the past, setting up our struggle with change. He shares techniques from his book, The Possibility Principle, that illuminate how we can break free from the grip of old beliefs, thoughts and feelings. Mel calls this process… Thinking.

Thinking is the ability to see your thoughts and not become those thoughts. This sets the stage for insights, and for harnessing your change process. This opens a window into your deeper wisdom, where a sense of self emerges that is wise and intuitive. Mel proposes that thinking—a rare ability— can be easily learned.

Mel’s guest on this show is Paul Kuehn, a former client who shares how he has utilized Mel’s methods for riding the current of his change process. Paul reveals how his own transformative process, buoyed by his work with Mel, has enabled him to debut his own show, The Transformations Podcast.

 

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Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

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The Possibility Podcast Episode 006: Raising Resilient Children

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Mel says, “As a culture we tend to focus on the achievement and success of our children but omit something far more important; their resilience.”

In this episode, Mel describes what he means by the word resilience, which he says is the source of our children’s well-being. He explains that the parenting rulebook — as we know it — fails us. Assisting our offspring to develop emotional intelligence is best accomplished by sharing more of our own life narrative, not just the good but our challenges as well.

Mel shares a compelling narrative about his own son regarding grades and motivation, and has a call-in from an educational counselor. He proposes that the intense pressure we put on children to perform academically at young ages is akin to unintentional child abuse. He highlights the path for nurturing your children to develop authentic self-esteem.

Check out the companion article to this episode!

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

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The Possibility Podcast Episode 005: Mel Schwartz Interviewed on the Science of Success Podcast

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In this bonus episode Mel is interviewed by Matt Bodnar on The Science of Success Podcast.

Matt, a truly gifted interviewer, prompts Mel to share the evolution of his thinking and how he came to distill some principles of quantum physics into a guide for living with resilience and self-empowerment.

He asks Mel, “How is it possible that the laws of physics hold lessons that could help us redefine our relationship with anxiety and suffering and open the door to possibility?”

Mel and Matt talk about the implications of this new worldview and how profoundly it can benefit our lives. Mel shares the insights he’s garnered from his work as a psychotherapist in helping people overcome anxiety and depression and achieve mastery of their thinking through this process.

This episode is chock full of really unique opportunities to engage our transformative process. You don’t need to be good at science or a math wizard to appreciate what Mel is sharing. He makes it really accessible and easy to use.

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

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The Possibility Podcast Episode 004: Getting Past the Argument — Why Is It So Important to Be Right?

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The compulsion to be “right,” the need to win the argument, can be mind-numbing. This tendency withers our relationships.

Mel Schwartz asks the question, “Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?”

Mel has observed that people always respond with the word “happy,” but quickly default to wanting to be right.

As the battle ensues, we compete rather than cooperate; argue rather than empathize.

In this fourth episode of The Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz, Mel provides a technique he developed called The Five Percent Rule. It’s designed to help us break free from the invalidation that occurs when we don’t listen to each other.

The Five Percent technique enables us to to actually listen and validate some of what each party says, which shifts the tide from acrimony toward collaboration.

Mel also teaches us how we can learn to respond rather than react. He suggests that when we learn to see our reaction, we no longer need to become that reaction.

Also in this episode, Mel demonstrates his approach as he helps caller Claire from Connecticut through the process of letting go of her reactivity as she learns a new way of communicating.

Talk With Mel!

Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.

Subscribe To the Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz

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