Mel Schwartz, LCSW

If marriage were a corporation, it would be bankrupt

The fact that more than half of marriages end in divorce is actually the lesser problem. The more telling consideration is that the majority of intact marriages are far from joyful. From my professional and personal experience, I’d venture that only a small percentage of marriages actually thrive. That’s a staggering rate of failure! Why would we permit these results? We’d never tolerate this rate of failure in our businesses or investments. In fact, if marriage were a corporation it would be bankrupt.

To enter into a committed relationship and simply hope that your love will be sufficient to overcome the odds against you is somewhat wishful thinking; although you can hope to be the exception. So to play by the same rules of engagement that result in such disappointment is mindless. If you want to thrive in your life, you need to excel in your relationships.

We go to school as children and young adults for the purpose of succeeding in our life endeavors. We learn English, history and math to that end. But the most important subject was omitted from the curriculum;relationships. We are astoundingly illiterate in this most important subject matter.

The answer to this dilemma is to engage in making ourselves emotionally literate in the topic of relationship. It isn’t helpful to blame ourselves or our partners, we’re all struggling for similar reasons. Coming our from the blame and embracing the necessary learning is the objective. Emotional and verbal intimacy are an artform that can be acquired. There are numerous pathways; therapy, marital counseling, reading, self-reflection, workshops. Choose your path and make happy relationships your cornerstone for a successful life.

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