Mel Schwartz, LCSW

Make Today Your Defining Day

If you struggle to change, here’s your path to break free.

Having endured unimaginable, horrific, life-limiting circumstances for the better part of 2020, many of us are looking forward to the new  year, with the promise of better times. New Year’s resolutions are calendar opportunities for self-renewal as we put the past year behind us and ready for a fresh start. Regrettably these personal resolutions tend to fail us.

The way life unfolds for most, yesterday blurs into today and leaks into tomorrow, leaving us feeling somewhat inert or stuck as if life just happens to us. At times we may wonder if we’re living from a script, the narrative already written. Struggling with change or unmet aspirations sadly becomes the norm.

What if we awaken every morning, this morning, to the intention of starting each day with the hopefulness and enthusiasm saved for New Years’ day? And what if we cultivated a new approach that could help us succeed in making these changes?

What if we chose to seize the possibilities, the state of potential that lies within our grasp? Each new day could bring the promise of a day well-lived. With this attitude, the days turn into years and become a gratifying and successful life.

You might ask, perhaps skeptically, just how could you accomplish this feat? Begin each day asking yourself how you’d like to experience that day. Suspend self-doubt and envision how you’d like your day to go. Next, ask yourself what ordinarily gets in the way. Don’t place the blame on others or on circumstances, but look into yourself.

Look at your self-limiting beliefs and thoughts that hold you back or imprison you. Ask yourself, “Why do I think these beliefs are true?” Or more importantly, ask yourself, “What if I’m wrong about myself, what if I could live the life I long for?”

Willful Intention

To access and manifest new possibilities requires your intention to do so. Wishful thinking won’t get you there. We all want for change, but the act of simply wishing, is disempowered and ineffective. Intention alone is also insufficient. To break into new terrain, intention needs to partner with willfulness.

Think of a sailboat at sea. You hoist the sail, which is the equivalent of your intention to move. But without any wind, you’ll simply drift, as we do from day to day. Now envision a gust of wind billowing through the sail as being the equivalent of your willfulness. Typically, the word willfulness might evoke a pejorative quality that speaks to stubbornness or unwillingness to alter directions. Yet this is exactly the quality of resolve and determination that I’m advocating.

What separates those who ride the waves of change and summon new possibilities from those who feel stuck is single-minded willfulness. You must infuse your intention with unwavering conviction.

Intention + Willfulness = Your Potential.

Defining Moments

Your defining moment is the instant in which you commit to your breakthrough. Think to yourself, “I can make this change, I will make this change,” and let nothing stand in your way. Be the wind in your sail. If you allow hesitation or self-doubt to distract you, you’ll falter.

Our core beliefs and ensuing thoughts instruct us as to our willful intention or lack of it. They may speak to us as either, “Why I can’t,” or “Why can’t I?” The former obviously expresses your thought finding reasons not to succeed. The latter opens the door to your emergence. Don’t let your limiting beliefs and imprisoning thoughts stand in your way any longer. Make today your defining moment—your defining day.

The Possibility Principle

This article was excerpted in part from Mel’s book, The Possibility Principle: How Quantum Physics Can Improve the Way You Think, Live and Love. Mel Schwartz is a psychotherapist and marriage counselor working globally by Zoom and the host of The Possibility Podcast.

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