The compulsion to be “right,” the need to win the argument, can be mind-numbing. This tendency withers our relationships.
Mel Schwartz asks the question, “Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?”
Mel has observed that people always respond with the word “happy,” but quickly default to wanting to be right.
As the battle ensues, we compete rather than cooperate; argue rather than empathize.
In this fourth episode of The Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz, Mel provides a technique he developed called The Five Percent Rule. It’s designed to help us break free from the invalidation that occurs when we don’t listen to each other.
The Five Percent technique enables us to to actually listen and validate some of what each party says, which shifts the tide from acrimony toward collaboration.
Mel also teaches us how we can learn to respond rather than react. He suggests that when we learn to see our reaction, we no longer need to become that reaction.
Also in this episode, Mel demonstrates his approach as he helps caller Claire from Connecticut through the process of letting go of her reactivity as she learns a new way of communicating.
Talk With Mel!
Help others when Mel helps you: Contact Mel and find out how you can be a caller on the show and ask Mel a question. He’ll put the Possibility Principle to work for you, and your conversation will be recorded for use in a future episode of the podcast so other listeners can benefit.
Subscribe To the Possibility Podcast with Mel Schwartz
Never miss an episode! Subscribe for free in iTunes / Apple Podcasts, RadioPublic, or Spreaker. Or, search for the show in your favorite podcast app… or add the show manually by copying and pasting this link into the podcast app of your choice.