Mel Schwartz, LCSW

Rethinking Anxiety

When a dysfunction such as anxiety – or depression, for that matter – becomes so commonplace, we must turn to our culture, which is our aggregate way of living, and examine how and why it’s producing such distress. Those suffering from anxiety are often simply mirroring an overwrought, anxiety-laden way of living. Turning the victim into the problem makes no sense at all. Such a preponderance of people suffering in this way must be a reflection of the effects of enduring an incongruous, if not insane, way of living, fostered by our prevailing worldview. In effect, the way that we are living produces this tragic result.

It is essential to address the underlying causes and not simply suppress the symptoms. The difficulty is that in our quick fix mentality, we believe that if we can quiet the symptoms, all is well. This may benefit the pharmaceutical-psychiatry industry, but not those so afflicted. We must come to see anxiety not as the enemy but as an expression of our struggle in adapting to a way of living that actually imperils us. From this vantage, anxiety is paradoxically sensible as we are reacting to conditions that are toxic. The anxiety can be seem similarly to a fever, which is simply a call to attention that all is not well. So the irony is that by medicating our symptoms away, we ensure continued suffering, for the struggle is never resolved toward a breakthrough; it is merely placated.

Moving Through Anxiety

On the more personal level, the individual taking anti-anxiety medication becomes convinced that they don’t have the resources to deal with their distress, as they become addicted to the temporary relief that the pill provides. In both cases – for the culture as a whole and for the afflicted individual – by trying to contain anxiety, we block our actualization. We must move through anxiety, not defend against it. It should be a harbinger of necessary change and growth, not an external evil to be medicated. 

An Addiction to Analyzing

The worldview to which I previously referred was founded by the thinking of Isaac Newton and Renee Descartes in the 17th century. Their philosophies and insights set in motion our dependence upon analysis and measurement, which taught us that by drilling down to the source, so to speak, we could control and master our lives and our environment. Rational and analytical thinking became the foundation of this worldview. This led to many remarkable advances with regard to modernization of society. Their teaching also had us seek, if not worship, predictability and certainty, which while fruitful in moderation, became pathological in the extreme. It is from this over reliance upon analytical and rational thinking that the epidemic of anxiety became inevitable. Analyzing should be a tool in our mind’s toolbox, but when it’s the only one we reach for, we suffer tragic consequences. Our mandate to subject human experience and emotions solely to rational and analytical judgment in and of itself excoriates us.

This  imperative, which relentlessly seeks predictability and certainty, has caused us to lose our way. Its unintended consequence has been anxiety, as our minds are tethered to assuring proper outcomes as we seek to avoid “mistakes.”  This indoctrination has resulted in excessive worrying, with an ensuing loss of wonder, awe, and imagination that are essential to a balanced and harmonious life. We have lost much of what it means to be human. The result is an existential crisis from which anxiety surfaces.

People inclined toward anxiety lose themselves to the measuring tendency of their thoughts, all the while further separating themselves from a coherent flow of life. The compulsion to compare and measure – so prevalent in the competitive, individualistic culture in which we live – leads to a further estrangement from others. People who suffer with anxiety often become engulfed in their thoughts’ relentless compulsion, which imprisons them with a flood of despair.

Slicing and Dicing Reality

A relentless questioning over decision-making – should I do this or do that – is all designed to protect against making wrong choices, and is consistent with what we call anxiety. It is also emblematic of correlated self-esteem issues as the relentless self-examining destroys any healthy sense of self. Such individuals become captive to their own thoughts, inducing horrific anxiety, as they miss the very flow of life. At the extreme it causes our thoughts to fragment as we slice and dice our life experience into increasingly maddening bits and the addictive nature of anxiety sets in.

Keeping Score

When I have the occasion to go to a baseball game, I’ve noticed that some fans still keep a scorecard, a bygone remnant of my youth. They notate every play of the game, their eyes cast down at the scorecard, removed from the flow of the game. The same is true with anxiety as it removes us from the joy of being present. If your inner monologue is self-measuring and overly critical, you’re missing the flow of your life.

In addition to society’s contribution to anxiety, there are of course particular personal and biographical considerations as well that contribute to one’s relationships with anxiety, which we’ll consider in the next article. I will also share in detail some methods that many of my clients have found helpful in transcending their struggle as they learn to break free from this torrent of fearful thinking.

 

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mitaky

Everything in our body and mind is flowing, circulating and changing much like the weather, seasons and elements outside. The thoughts and habits of thinking me, mine and I (my body, mind, life) as separate, independent, fixed and finite are false and has no basis in reality as it is. No meaningful participation is possible without the fundamental awareness of fluidity, flow and harmony of things arising out of disharmony, suffering and chaos. Crafting of personality, coping, pleasing, compliance and defenses as you say blocks our true emergent and evolving nameless roleless identity.

Thanks Mel for what you shared on relationship..a commitment to process, learning and mastering emotions and creative communication.

peace
mita
http://www.seek2know.net

Matthew Selznick

Mita,
You might enjoy my article From Being to Becoming..You can also find it on my blog.

Kimberly Allen

Excellent article! I am very glad I took the time to read it. Worshipping at the altar of no mistakes and wringing one’s hands, fretting about the very real lack of predictability and certainty in life will without a doubt, lead to anxiety for many people. Creativity can be found in so many ways, such as spending time with young children or trying to surf a large wave.
I am sure you understand. Thanks for the article. I love it!

Matthew Selznick

Hi Kimberly,
Yes that’s quite the point. Predictability and certainty are are the death knell of creativity. As well, our potential to think differently, see differently and feel differently all rely upon stepping out from determinism.

Larry Forbrich

I like your approach to anxiety, however, you would not build a house without a foundation would you? Anxiety is a symptom of a larger problem.

I work with persons in San Antonio, TX, USA. who have bipolar illness. You did a very good job of describing bipolar illness. There are two types of bipolar–genetic and situational induced.

With genetic, some people have DNA sequences in the brain that become activated by a switch usually when they are 17 to 22 years old. It happens at other times also. Our body is a clock. When someone is 12,13,14 years old the brain starts producing hormones that cause us to be adolescents. Who tells the brain to do that–genes.

Situational bipolar is caused by some sort of trauma to the body. It can be domestic violence, abortion, automobile accident, rape and some others. Since nearly everybody knows what abortion is, I will use that example. When a person becomes pregnant the body sets up a series of events the ends with the birth of a baby. If something happens that interrupts that sequence (abortion) it not only causes problems to the body but to the mind as well– bipolar, depression, agoraphobia, to name a few.

Situational bipolar is often treated the same way PTSD is treated.

Back to anxiety. This is not a character flaw, this is anatomy. Once a person is educated as to what anxiety is, it is easy to to teach them how to “get out of their own head” and concentrate on what works.

The name of my 501(c)3 charity is DBSA Bexar County. Do not confuse us with other San Antonio groups that are basically social groups. We are a Recovery Group. We have a 40% recovery rate. The highest in Texas.

Larry Forbrich
DBSA Bexar County
dbsabexarcounty@gmail.com
210 262 2596

Teresa Pipe

It is interesting to consider the historical origins of these changes that have permeated western culture with the need to predictability and certainty. We have also become a very fragmented, schizoid society with more people living alone and coping alone with life’s pressures. Families no longer live along the same street or even in the same continent. People are rearing their children without the family support that was once guaranteed. The pressures of life and our attitude toward them have all changed as your article highlights but so to has the structure of society and communities, all adding to this ‘avalanche of anxiety’.

Teresa Pipe
Psychotherapist & EMDR therapist
http://www.tavistocktherapy.com
admin@tavistocktherapy.com

Franklin Mwirigi

From what I have read, even setting goals and targets can be a source of anxiety, especially when they are not achieved. Now does it mean that we should stop setting goals and targets as a way of avoiding anxiety? should we not put efforts towards achieving our dreams and purposes?

Matthew Selznick

Frank,
Working toward achieving your goals is healthy and rewarding. It’s the fear of failure or not succeeding that gets in the way.Try not to measure yourself..that the source of anxiety

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