The pursuit of our personal change process often results in frustration and struggle. As much as we may fantasize new visions for our life, we tend to remain anchored in the familiarity of our life script. The question arises, “Why do we fail so often in our ability to make changes in our life?” My answer may surprise you, but it’s rooted in the way we think reality operates. The 17th century scientist Sir Isaac Newton postulated that the universe was like a giant machine, comprised of separate and discrete parts. He stated that with sufficient data one could reasonably calculate future conditions. This principle came to be known as determinism. And we live out our lives impacted by this “reality.”
The more that we try to know the future in advance, the more wed we become to certainty. If we need to know what will happen — what the consequences of our actions or inactions will be — the more fearful we become about entering into the flow of life. So we hold back and become frozen with apprehension as we analyze our choices. This is where fear resides. People who become addicted to these calculations often suffer from anxiety, as their thoughts perpetually analyze future consequences. Anxiety is directly correlated to our attachment to these fearful thoughts. This freezes us out of the change process as it robs us of our ability to craft a new tomorrow.
An Uncertain Universe
In the early 20th century, the field of quantum physics discovered that the universe and reality itself is thoroughly uncertain. It now appears that uncertainty applies to our everyday lives as much as it does to the quantum realm. Paradoxically, this uncertainty should be seen as welcome news. How do I come to make this statement? Certainty or predictability precludes new possibility. If the future is already known in advance we lose the ability to truly be present. Uncertainty is necessary for new potentials to arise. The new science informs us that reality is inexorably unfolding and flowing, creating possibility in every instant. We can join in this life-enhancing flow, if we simply let go of the compulsion to know an unknowable future. Doing this enables us to become free of our addiction to fearful thoughts.
Picture standing by the bank of a river and imagine that the river as the metaphorical flow of life. I am coaxing you to enter the river with me to engage this flow. Hesitantly, you agree. Yet, upon moving into the river you grab a hold of a boulder and try to hold back the river. I ask you to let go and embrace the flow. You look ahead and see a bend in the river and you protest, “but I can’t see where the river will take me, I need to know.”And so you block the current of life. You’re not supposed to know where it will go but you are free to navigate your direction as you go along. But you must enter into the flow of your life and the current of change.
Being stuck in determinism blocks us from becoming the author of our own life script.Yet, most people continue to avoid uncertainty at all costs with sad results. Our relationship with others and with ourselves becomes repetitive, rather like watching the movie Groundhog Day, in which the protagonist finally breaks free. The key to change lies in altering our relationship with uncertainty. Rather than trying to ward it off, embrace it. It’s the engine of your change process.Your resistance is about coming out of your familiar zone. You can’t elicit change and new possibility and remain in the familiar at the same time. You must chose.