Entries by Mel Schwartz

Creating Authentic Self-Esteem in Teens

Creating Authentic Self-Esteem An 8-week Group for Teens     Tuesdays 4:15-5:30 Begins April 5th 234 Post Rd East. Westport, CT Limited Seating   Low self-esteem marginalizes our lives and tragically limits our happiness, success and productivity. LSE is also a source of anxiety, depression, ADHD and conflicted relationships. There is a common – but false […]

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Why Acting Strong is Actually Weak

A troubling theme that I come across in my work as a therapist — and in my observation of people in general — is the belief that we should always act strong and hide our insecurities and fears. The damage perpetrated by this “common wisdom” is incalculable. It decimates true self-esteem and damages our relationships. […]

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For the Sake of the Children

I’ve often heard people in conflicted and unhappy marriages claim that they are staying together for the sake of the children. Their implied message is that their children will be better off being raised in an intact family, spared from the negative effect of divorce. This position really requires deeper consideration. As with many commonly held […]

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Are We Really Speaking about the Same Thing?

How often have you felt frustrated in conversations as if you were each talking about a different thing? That’s because you were… To experience truly effective communication, which rarely occurs, we need to make sure we’re actually talking about the same thing. If you assume that the words or phrases you’re using mean the same […]

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Why I Can’t… or Why Can’t I?

The beliefs we carry with us carve out forks in the road of our life. They direct us down very different paths and experiences. Our primary beliefs and our ensuing thoughts direct how we engage life. Ironically, we hardly pay attention to these seismic influences upon us. If you’d like to live your live to […]

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Raising Resilient Children

As parents, no matter how devoted and nurturing we may be, our children often struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and a host of other challenges. Some of these disturbances are simply life experiences that they may regrettably have to experience. Our goal is to feel confident that they will overcome these obstacles and that […]

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Be the Change You Seek in the Other

Few things are as common to our relationships as our asking for, if not demanding, change from one another. These may begin as requests and over time descend into full-blown demands as frustrations arise and hostility grows. The ensuing adversarial energy then often pits each party into a defensive posture whereby conciliation and cooperation retreat […]

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Why You Shouldn’t Put Your Best Foot Forward

Why You Shouldn’t Put Your Best Foot Forward   Most people begin their dating relationships by putting their proverbial “best foot” forward. We do this to entice the other person to like us and possibly fall for us.  If the relationship succeeds the courtship typically declines over time as the routine sets in. The months […]

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Being Heard: Breaking Through the Impasse

In my last post, Silence: A Relationship Killer, we explored the ruinous consequences that intentional silence has on relationships. Silence is antithetical to healthy communicating. Very often people may resort to silence because they anticipate that what they need to say will fall on deaf ears or, worse still, invite an angry reaction. Anticipating that […]

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