Entries by Mel Schwartz

How are you?

Many times a day we may walk past an acquaintance and say, “Hi, how are you?” The other person smiles, says, “good and you?” And we likely respond similarly. Are we both always good? That’s a rhetorical question of course. A few years ago I was taking a walk on my way for a cup […]

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Living a Fear-Less Life

  Fear is a universal experience for virtually all of us. Perhaps there are a few exceptions to this rule, such as the Dalai Lama, but for the rest of us it’s part of life. The goal of living without any fear might be desirable, but somewhat naïve. What we should aim for is to […]

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The 5% Rule — Breaking Through the Argument

  Early in my career as a therapist, I found myself feeling frustrated in my ability to assist a couple with whom I was working. They were tirelessly mired in argument and it was like watching a Ping-Pong ball being knocked back and forth, only no points were being won or lost. This kind of […]

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Mastering Your Communication Skills: Breaking Through to the Other Side

  Mastering your Communication Skills: Breaking Through to the Other Side  A Real-Time, Interactive, Online Workshop To enjoy resilient relationships, successful lives and authentic self-esteem we need to have a proper command of our communication skills. The problem is we received no education in this cornerstone for happiness. And so we struggle. This real-time online […]

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Creating Authentic Self-Esteem in Teens

Creating Authentic Self-Esteem An 8-week Group for Teens     Tuesdays 4:15-5:30 Begins April 5th 234 Post Rd East. Westport, CT Limited Seating   Low self-esteem marginalizes our lives and tragically limits our happiness, success and productivity. LSE is also a source of anxiety, depression, ADHD and conflicted relationships. There is a common – but false […]

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Why Acting Strong is Actually Weak

A troubling theme that I come across in my work as a therapist — and in my observation of people in general — is the belief that we should always act strong and hide our insecurities and fears. The damage perpetrated by this “common wisdom” is incalculable. It decimates true self-esteem and damages our relationships. […]

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For the Sake of the Children

I’ve often heard people in conflicted and unhappy marriages claim that they are staying together for the sake of the children. Their implied message is that their children will be better off being raised in an intact family, spared from the negative effect of divorce. This position really requires deeper consideration. As with many commonly held […]

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Are We Really Speaking about the Same Thing?

How often have you felt frustrated in conversations as if you were each talking about a different thing? That’s because you were… To experience truly effective communication, which rarely occurs, we need to make sure we’re actually talking about the same thing. If you assume that the words or phrases you’re using mean the same […]

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Falling In and Out – and Back – in Love

The experience of falling in love is truly a thing of marvel. It’s a remarkable and incomparable feeling. Time seems altered and our senses become fervently alive. Each moment has meaning and intent. This is a peak moment in life. Yet, sadly over time we tend to fall out of love as easily as we […]

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Why I Can’t… or Why Can’t I?

The beliefs we carry with us carve out forks in the road of our life. They direct us down very different paths and experiences. Our primary beliefs and our ensuing thoughts direct how we engage life. Ironically, we hardly pay attention to these seismic influences upon us. If you’d like to live your live to […]

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