Mel is a noted marriage counselor and pioneer of a highly successful approach to creating resilient relationships. He empowers couples to gain the insights and skills needed to enable joyful marriages. Mel utilizes knowledge from a vast array of disciplines in his multi-faceted approach to marriage counseling.
Mel is creator of the landmark Marriage Mastery Course and author of the acclaimed book The Art of Intimacy, The Pleasure of Passion. He has been interviewed by CBS and NBC and quoted in numerous publications.
Mel’s relationship counseling assists couples and individuals with:
• Marriage counseling
• Pre-marital wellness
• Divorce transitions
• Family & parenting counseling
• Individual therapy
The following is excerpted from Mel’s forthcoming book, A Shift of Mind:
Why we struggle in our relationships
From my experience, a marriage that goes untroubled or unchallenged is the notable exception. Regrettably, conflict and struggle become ordinary facets of our marriages. What often begins as a loving and intimately connected partnering tends to decline over time. Relationships, particularly marriage, are challenging at some point for virtually everyone. We might well consider why this occurs.
The divorce statistics are only the tip of the iceberg. Far more telling is that only a small percentage of intact marriages are fundamentally happy. We can conclude that the majority of marriages don’t thrive.
Yet, it would be illogical to personalize these struggles. Why would we succeed in something that we’re totally unprepared for? Very few individuals speak of the wonderful modeling of relationship that they received from their parents.
Nowhere else in life do we expect to succeed without some education or training. We are well schooled in history, math, language and science for the purpose of advancing in our life skills. Yet, there is one fundamental skill that is omitted from our curriculum--relationship. And this is why we struggle so and disappoint one another and ourselves.
How can we possibly expect to thrive in our relations if we are illiterate in this most vital area? From this premise we might at least begin to remove the blame factor from our relationships. It’s not our fault if we’ve never been shown the way. Faulting yourself or your partner mires you in a destructive energy.
The solution lies in learning the skills necessary to prosper in your relationships. They are learnable and achievable once you set your intention to succeed.
"Issues of right and wrong block the opportunity for growth and happiness in relationships. I often find myself asking couples whether they’d rather be happy or whether they’d rather be right. Although everyone claims they prefer happiness, we default to the fight about right or wrong. It’s essential that we break free from this mindless habit, if we’re to succeed in our relationships."
"A solution to relationship struggles lies in learning the art of listening. The gift of dialogue enables us to truly hear each other one and validate our partner’s point of view. This provides the foundation for a respectful exchange. The loss of emotional intimacy is at the heart of relationship difficulties. However, learning the art of listening and mindful communication can restore intimacy."
Watch Mel discuss marriage
on CBS News
The Art of Intimacy,
The Pleasure of Passion
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© 2013 by Mel Schwartz. All rights reserved.